It's been more than one year since I have written a post so the best place to start is to say that I'M STILL HERE and I'M STILL HEALTHY. Hip-Hip-Hooray! I expect/hope to receive confirmation of the "still healthy" when I see Dr. Patel next month and receive results of the PET and CT scans I had just before Christmas.
The treatment schedule remains the same - every three weeks an infusion of the trial drug and Herceptin. I have been told that some results of the research were presented at a conference this Fall and the results are promising. I have also been told that as of April 2012 I will no longer be required to have the CT scan every nine weeks.
I'm not sure what happens when a research drug is approved. I'm not sure if those receiving the drug in the research project continue to receive it until the drug is marketed for all or if we stop receiving the drug in its research formula until it is available for all. When I first thought of these questions I felt a little scared but I've had some time to think about it and I've decided to not worry. As of right now there is nothing I can do to change the outcome so I will wait to see what happens and if I need to be scared I will deal with it then.
So, on with the update. I am now working 7.5 to 8 hours a day and I'm tired at night but able to keep up with this schedule. It certainly has taken longer this time to return to my former lifestyle. I do have a few other side effects but what I miss the most is my energy.
It's an interesting endeavor to move from living with cancer and treatment to living the life of recovery. In the midst of the battle the focus is so very much on arming yourself with all the weapons needed to win. Every waking moment is spent using all the weapons to give the best advantage. And then you win the battle ... you move into recovery and on to integrating all the lessons learned ... weaving them in with what your life was and creating a new life.
Sometimes I am more successful with this weaving and sometimes I've got to unravel what I've got and start back again. And that's life ... we learn, we grow, we forget, and then get back on track again.
I don't want to forget the lessons that cancer has taught me. I don't want to take any day of my life for granted. I don't want to forget to be grateful or to forget my blessings. I don't want to forget to take care of myself. Sometimes I do forget but I'm fortunate to have some lingering side effects so I don't forget for more than a few hours. There you go ... I'm counting my blessings again. I choose to count my few stinky side effects as blessings, they are a constant reminder of what I've gone through and the lessons I have learned.
As I am writing this post I am reminded of the following:
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Oh how I hate trials when I am in the midst of them ... all trials except for cancer. It is through cancer that I have learned my greatest lessons. And even though cancer is yucky I am grateful for this life changing experience.
I hope this update has been a gentle nudge to count your blessings today if you have not already. Until next time, may each of us live every day with gratitude for our blessings.
