January 2009 - Scan Results

It's official - I am 17 mos. cancer free!

Today I learned that the anniversary which really counts begins the month treatment is completed; for me it began August 2007 when I finished Herceptin.

The other bit of good news is that the tumor markers did not go up - they did not go down - but let's concentrate on the positive, the fact that they did not go up.

So what is next? Well, I am going to have an MRI of the low back, left hip, and hip socket; my low back has consistently been bothering me for several months. The fact that the tumor markers did not go up is reassuring - it is doubtful that the cancer has metastized to the bones. However, I was told today that I am a scary patient. Hmm, intellectually I am well aware of the odds - emotionally, well it is a little scary to be told by the professionals that your cancer is scary. But, as my nephew Josh would say, "It is what it is."

I am a scary patient because I am HER/2 positive, ER/PR negative, had a very small tumor yet had extensive spread to the lymph nodes. Yeah, that's scary. So, as much as I had hoped that I could move to scans every six months I will instead continue with the three-month schedule and monthly blood draws to check on the tumor markers.

I am not complaining....well yes I am a little bit because it is sometimes hard to forget about cancer and move on with life when "everytime I turn around" it is time for another test. But, I know that I am blessed to have a doctor who is aggressively watching over me and equally as blessed to have an insurance company that continues to pay the bills. God continues to answer my prayers with the answer I ask of him - good health and time with my family.

I am mindful that life is brief and that my life could quickly take another twist, turn, dip, and dive. I think often of Job who had it all and then lost his family, his health, friends and his wealth. I wonder if Job said, "It is what it is"?

It is what it is and I will not renounce nor blame God. It is what it is, Satan's way of tempting me to renounce and blame God in order to hurt God. Have you ever thought of that?

God made this perfect world, He called it "good". He also allowed free-will and along comes Satan who exercises his free-will and brings sin into the world ... for what purpose? What pleasure did Satan get from lying to Eve and Adam in order to tempt them to go against what God had told them? What pleasure or what pleasure did Satan hope to get from causing all the pain, sorrow and suffering of Job?

And today, what pleasure does Satan get when a little child is abused; when someone is murdered; when another life is wasted because of alcohol or drugs; when families are split apart; and need I go on?

Perhaps not pleasant, but some things to think on.

January 2009

I'm sorry, I never did write about the MRI experience nor the test results. The results were fine - I have a cancer free brain. The experience was fun but that's because a brain scan takes only a short time. The tech said that some scans can take as long as two hours - lying still with loud noises for two hours would definitely be a greater challenge.

Next week I am scheduled to have the quarterly scans - PET and CT and the following week I will see Dr. Patel for the results; three months goes by quickly.

Tonight I updated my profile with a photo taken this past October of me with my three beautiful grandchildren. The chemo hair is gone; my energy has completely returned; and the chemo brain fog has left - it is time to show the "healthy" me.