Test Results = The Happy Dance

I am almost 31 months cancer free and I'm doing The Happy Dance! Last week I had a slew of blood tests as well as the quarterly PET and CT scans; I received the results today and they were good!!


If you remember the post from three months ago the PET scan showed inflammation of the lymph nodes under the left arm and in the left side of my chest however the CT scan, which was taken the day after the PET, had good results. The inflammation along with another rise of tumor markers (blood test results) were worrisome for both Dr. Patel and I.


Today Dr. Patel was all smiles; the PET scan indicated that the inflammation of the lymph nodes was very little. Either I was slightly sick three months ago when I had the scan or the inflammation might possibly be related to lymphoedema which I do have at times (I personally think this is what the PET scan is picking up). The CT scan results were also good.


The blood test results were mostly good - all indications were that bone, kidney, and liver function were great however once again the tumor markers were up. Over the last few months the tumor markers have gone up but they also went down before they again went up. The markers are still below the "worry level" but it is a mystery as to why the markers are fluctuating.

Breast cancer metastasises to the lymph nodes, brain, lung, bone, liver, and the original site of the cancer. We know I had local mets to the lymph nodes near the tumor so the potential of it returning to the lymph system is high thus the concern three months ago when the PET scan indicated lymph nodes with inflammation and the elation today at finding the inflammation was almost gone now. The PET and CT scans also look at the lungs, bone, and liver - the absence of any findings along with positive function results from the blood tests indicate that these organs are cancer free.


So, that leaves the brain which leads to the only test I have not had - a brain MRI with contrast. As a precaution I will have the MRI as soon as my insurance approves it. The good news is that if anything is found it will be found early (I have absolutely no symptoms).


Am I worried? No, I am not worried; I physically feel too good to believe that at this time I have cancer growing within me again.

Am I fearful? Slightly, I have had cancer once and I think I will always to some degree be fearful of its return. Most of the time I am too busy fully enjoying and appreciating each day of my life so the fear remains pushed to the back of my mind. In fact when I express fear I usually surprise myself - today when I received the test results my first reaction was to dance around and hug Dr. Patel (hopefully I did not hug him too tightly!). My second reaction was to begin crying; not sobbing - just a gentle cry - my eyes filled to the brim and then slowly large tears trickled down my cheeks. I knew then that even though I felt physically well, I had been fearful of the test results.

I think it is okay to be fearful as long as it does not interfere with living and truthfully a little dose of fear is actually good for us - it will make us slow down and carefully think through the situation and our choices. I have however watched fear rule and ruin lives or at least make people very miserable. I am determined to not let fear of cancer ruin the life that I do have afterall, it could be a car accident that takes my life instead of cancer. That car accident could be tomorrow - what a waste if I let fear of cancer ruin my life today.

Oh yes, the new port worked "beautifully" last week but not today. They think it may be plugged so I go in tomorrow to have a drug injected into the diaphram of the port to disolve whatever may be plugging it then 30 minutes later a blood draw will be attempted again. If that does not work then the procedure will be repeated and if that does not work I will be sent for a dye test. I am about to learn something new again.