Cycle #4: Days 9 - 18

Same old, same old – that’s the pace around here. We survived the heat by keeping all window coverings closed and using the barbeque as the oven. On Tuesday I did reach the point of feeling trapped; physically I felt well, however isolation kept me home and the heat kept me in the house.

The fatigue began again as my cells reached the lowest point so I moved from one short nap a day to a short morning nap and very long afternoon nap. Yesterday I slept away most of the day – the morning and afternoon naps were only separated by lunch and I had no problem going to bed early.

I do feel very rested today and if I continue to feel this way I will break out of isolation early and attend worship services this morning (yes, all the rest yesterday resulted in an early wake up today).

I am amazed at the number of days that have passed since I last posted to the blog. With “same old, same old” somehow the days just go by. I could tell you about having the grand-dogs again for a few days, or that one afternoon I decided to count the number of remaining eyelashes and eyebrows, or how I organized some business records; but there is nothing really interesting about these.

Same old – same old; it’s not a bad thing.

On Wednesday, August 2nd, I will have infusion #5; Taxol and Herceptin. I will fill you in on the next posting.

Cycle # 4 : Days 5 - 8

“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zohar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.” Job 2:11

The days that I am not physically well are tough days and they require much prayer, meditation and rest. It is difficult during those times to allow God to have all my fears of cancer, chemo, and radiation and so your prayers, sharing of scriptures, and encouragement are also needed (Job 6:14).

Thank you for spending your precious time to pray, sympathize, comfort, and encourage me - you have been a great source of strength.

I am grateful that you have proven to be friends of greater wisdom and understanding than Job's friends. After starting out so supportive by spending seven days and nights with Job in silent mourning and grieving they began to speak. Eliphaz was the first to speak many words, "Remember now, who ever perished being innocent? Or where were the upright destroyed?". When Bildad spoke he among other things said, "If you are pure and upright, surely now He would rouse Himself for you and restore your righteous place". Then Zophar chimed in with his two cents, "But would that God might speak, and open His lips against you..".

Job needed their prayers and gentle constant encouragement to continue to rely on and trust in God. One of the lessons for each of us from the book of Job is the lesson of how to comfort and encourage a friend.

Before I end this I want you to know that I began feeling better and thinking more clearly Monday afternoon; each day I have felt more of my energy return and a subsiding of the side effects.

Cycle # 4 - Days 3 and 4

The fatigue stinks. It is sneaky - one minute I’m fine and the next minute I am surprised with a barrage of unexplainable tears. In the midst of the tears is the thought that I am so tired I cannot keep my face on. I know that is a weird thought – I guess it is admitting to myself that I cannot fake being ok.

I was warned by Dr. Risbud that this would be my toughest cycle; he explained that the chemo has a cumulative effect. He was right, it is my toughest.

With the first two infusions the side effects seemed to last only a couple of days and then I was up and going again. Infusions three and four have been different – the side effects drag on and rob me of the days I previously enjoyed before the start of isolation.

Long naps are helpful. The remembrance that tomorrow is a new day is encouraging. Knowing that I am done with A + C is comforting. Believing that the chemo is working keeps me going.

Infusion # 4 Days 1 - 2

Well so far this infusion has been very easy. It is the only time I have not thrown up following an infusion - what a nice parting gift. Another nice gift would be if this final blast of A + C does not completely do away with my eyebrows and eyelashes. They started thinning following the third infusion and I seem to daily lose more. April assures me that she will teach me to pencil in my eyebrows and take me to get good false eyelashes if I do in fact lose them; that may be too foo-foo for me, maybe I will just keep the brim of my hats pulled down.

My arm is beginning to swell this afternoon and I have a feeling that I will once again be feeling like a giant salt block. Oh well ... been there, handled that, can do it again.

I have started a second blog, you can access it through the link section on the side bar "With Love, From Jan" or at www.cookingwithjrenays.blogspot.com

This blog is a collection of family stories, and new and old recipes. Additionally, in some manner it is also a tribute to my mother who taught me that cooking is a gift of love to your family and friends.

I will write more in a few days.

Infusion # 4 - A Time to Celebrate

Cycle #3 Days 8 - 15

As you can see by these pictures, I was able to be with family on the 4th.

After today my white blood cell count will start climbing! I am feeling great. I am a little bit tired but it is nothing to complain about, my taste is far less salty, and my arm is feeling better.

July 12th will be my final A + C infusion. I feel like I am graduating and I am excited to move on to the next stage of chemo. I am not looking forward to the side effects of Taxol but I've learned that there is drug to combat every side effect and I am sure I will deal with it. I will explain more about the next phase in August.

That's it for now - just a brief update. I am working on the next post - but it's not quite ready yet.

Love to each of you!