Round Two: Infusion #11

The past three weeks have quickly gone by and tomorrow is the first infusion of the biologic drugs without chemo. It is wonderful to know that my strength and energy will stay with me this time and that everyday I will continue to grow a little bit stronger.

I have a love-hate relationship with chemo; I love that it kills the cancer cells and of course I hate the side effects. If the side effects were short term it would be easier but instead they drag on and on and then rats - I finally would feel better only for it to be time for chemo again. I am so very grateful that the chemo portion of the treatment has been completed - I am SO VERY GRATEFUL.

I only needed two Lukine injections and that was last week. This week the white and red blood cells were at the lowest point of being normal, the platelets were low but not too bad. I did have a B-12 injection last week and this week I had what will probably be the last one. It does seem a little strange to not be at CBCC so much.

Each day seems to go by quickly and the two greatest daily accomplishments are taking a long nap and doing the dishes. Anything else that I accomplish is as they say, icing on the cake. And, I'm pleased to tell you that the cake has been iced a few times lately. We finally have all of the Christmas gifts purchased and wrapped. I did quite a bit of on-line shopping and between Randy and April the majority of the gifts were purchased. Yesterday I did have lunch with a friend and then I stopped at the mall on the way home. I was at the mall for less than an hour and then the exhaustion caught up with me but I was happy that I was able to accomplish what I did.

Today, well today I've been really tired which is both irritating and okay. It is irritating because my body still can't keep up with my mind - and at the same time it is okay because that's the only healthy way to handle this situation. It could be worse and now is not the time to forget my blessings and to be ungrateful. Each day is a blessing and sometimes I have cake with icing and sometimes I don't. Years ago my sister-in-law Nancy shared with me a chocolate cake recipe called Goofy Cake - it's goofy because there is no icing but the cake is so moist and yummy that icing is not needed. Some days my life is like the Goofy Cake and that's good enough.

I wish each of you a Merry Christmas. May 2010 be filled with lots of cake and icing and just the right amount of Goofy Cake to keep all of us humble and grateful for the days we are blessed with cake and icing.

Round Two: Infusion #10

Woohoo the test results were good again and I get to stop chemotherapy! Now I go on a maintenance program which for me is the two biologic drugs every three weeks. Tumor marker tests will be run every three weeks and I will have a CT scan, EKG and Echo every nine weeks.

I was told that my progress has been remarkable and that comparing the scans from last week with the scans from April and May are like looking at the scans from two different people.

Our prayers have been answered, God has abundantly blessed me with everything needed to take down cancer once again. And once again, I am richer because of the experience.

What a LONG HAUL!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and I don't care that I used too many exclamation points!!!!!!!)

All of the weeds are gone (cancer) and now I just need the weed killer (biologic drugs) to keep the weeds from coming back ... that and lots of prayer.

Thanks for checking in on me and for your support throughout this whole process. I recently read an interesting article about biologic drugs, I will write a post about it in a few days.

Round Two: Infusion #10

At the time of my last post I was scheduled to have tests and receive the results the day before Thanksgiving. In order to stay on schedule with the clinical trial the tests were moved to this week. On Monday I had a PET scan, EKG and Echo; on Tuesday I had an MRI of the abdomen and liver; on Wednesday I had a CT scan; and yesterday I had the tenth and hopefully final chemo treatment - it's been a full week. I will receive the test results on Wednesday the 9th and of course I am hopeful that I have had the last chemo treatment.

I did enjoy less fatigue with the reduced dose of taxotere and in fact I only needed two Lukine injections following the ninth treatment. It was encouraging to have some energy and feel more like myself again.

The steriod high started last night and I am operating on very little sleep but I have accomplished a few tasks, am very alert and am starving! Love the steroid high days.

So physically here is how I am:

>My hair is growing and is filling in quite nicely; it is almost one inch in length. I think the color will be the same brown mixed with gray and if I am lucky I will still have a few auburn highlights. I actually have some strands of hair that are gray with brown tips - it's interesting. It is also interesting that I lost all of my eyebrows after the hair on my head began to grow back. I do have new eyebrow hair but it is short and has not completely filled in. I did begin to lose small sections of eyelashes but fortunately that seems to have stopped.

>Some of my fingernails are growing funny; they are wider at the end of the nail and are turning under however none of the nails have turned black and for that I am grateful.

>The neuropathy has not grown much, it covers about one-third of my feet and travels up about halfway on my fingers. It is tingly and my feet are freezing sometimes but not painful, the most irritating is the loss of some feeling and strength in my fingertips. Some tasks are more difficult such as buttons and opening a sealed box or bag.

>For many weeks I had eye twitches, in fact my left eye twitched more than it did not twitch. At first it drove me crazy but then it became so familar that I only noticed when the eye was not twitching. I was told that one other lady in the clinical trial also reported constant eye twitching. The twitching is considerably less since the chemo dose was reduced so it is hard to say if the twitches are a side effect of taxotere or a combination of the trial drug and taxotere.

>The muscle weakness in my arms and legs are also less since the dose of taxotere was reduced and I am very grateful.

>My weight is staying steady at 114 and my appetite is better which I believe is the result of less fatigue.

The worst appears to have been with the first five treatments and as the cancer has been eliminated and the tumors reduced I truly am getting healthier and I feel more like myself.

I am sticking to a strict isolation routine, I don't want to take a chance of catching a virus or the flu until I have completed chemo and my immune system has returned to normal. The side effects are bad enough without adding an illness to the challenge.

I am a patient person most of the time, Round Two was far longer and difficult than I expected or wanted and so I have had to learn to be even more patient. I am a physically strong person, with Round Two I discovered that I could not count on my physical strength and instead I had to learn to allow others to care for me.

There are lessons to learn during troubled times and many blessings to be received. I know that I am a better person for learning these lessons and richer for receiving the blessings. I may not have all of my "wants" but I do have all of my needs and I am very grateful for all of my blessings.

Thanks for checking in on me. I will write a post next week with the test results.